fell off the fence i was walking on. prob is a good thing. needed to lay there and reflect a little anyhow. realized that i had to look at why i was walking fence to begin with instead of freaking cuz i fell off.
i have never felt so challenged in my life. some challenges, like school, are self inflicted. others, like family, falling out of love, (and finding new love interest only to have him move 2000 miles away) are situations that i cannot control. the only thing i can do is try to deal and get thru it.
i know i have a huge support system. and if you are reading this, you know i am part of yours.
i am going to start today with a better attitude and try being hopeful instead of helpless.
todays list:

• drink tea and read bbc news cuz i have no idea what is going on
• shower
• wear fav. clothes and fav converse sneaks w/ star laces
• go to bio lab and work real hard
• hike up mountain to dad's place
• leave him letter of what i have been up to, and lucky rock that vic gave me. (his idea)
• see family since i have been neglecting to hang out for months
• get caught up on homework
• eat something green

love kat

hey. i'm still alive. (forgot what i was going to say cuz i busted out some pearl jam after last sentence.)
here is what i've been up to:
school
boy
studying
boy
homework
boy
working out how to say goodbye to boy and be okay with it.

love kat. I do love you, you know.

ohhhhh RONALD!

Hi. Saw The Departed last nite. It was fucking amazing. I love mobster movies, especially when they are done really well. Def made me feel a little sick, though.
Feel kind of funny today. Totally woke up in my bed this morhing and have NO memory of getting there. I only had 1 beer at dinner, so I def wasn't drunk. Weird. Maybe my friend slipped me some rufies when we got back last nite. haha! jk.
Up early to meet my bio lab partner. We are doing an experiement w/ wasps & dif wavelengths of light. Fun.
Okay quick list to make me feel good.
Things I am happy about at moment:

• The muffin i just ate
• JC fixn my guitar so it sounds all sweet
• New jean size!
• this pic of me humping ronald
• LOVE kat

it is 3am and i am wideafucking wake. hmmmm. wtf? i watched indiana jones temple of doom, about a boy, lost in translation. also registered for spring classes. shit i should bring out the recycling since they will be here in 2 hours and it's embarassingly full. wow. no i am not on ANY drugs. maybe i need some downers though.
got a bad grade on chem exam. not good. so i pounded a mojito and went to see Fearless w/ the boys. (disappointing. prob due to translating/editing or something.) felt a little better after that and some indian food.
going to montreal tomorrow w/ the dudes. fun. living it up a little while vic is still in town.
i should prob either go to bed or study now. just checking in.
LOVE you to the moon.
kat